Starting EMDR therapy can feel both hopeful and uncertain. You may have read that it helps with trauma and anxiety, but wonder what actually happens in a session and whether it will feel overwhelming. EMDR is designed to be safe, paced and collaborative. The early sessions focus on building trust, stability and understanding, long before you begin processing difficult memories.
What happens first
In your initial sessions, your therapist will take time to understand your history, current symptoms and goals for therapy. This assessment helps identify which experiences may still feel distressing and what supports you already have in place. Together, you will develop a plan that ensures you feel in control throughout the process. EMDR moves at your pace, and nothing happens without your consent.
Learning grounding and safety techniques
Before processing begins, your therapist will help you learn grounding techniques to manage emotion safely. You might create an internal “safe place” image, practise slow breathing or gentle tapping to regulate your body. These tools become anchors you can use both in and outside therapy. Feeling prepared and grounded helps your brain approach distressing material without becoming overwhelmed.
Understanding bilateral stimulation
Bilateral stimulation is central to EMDR. This usually takes the form of side-to-side eye movements, gentle hand taps or alternating tones through headphones. No one is completely sure how bilateral stimulation works. One leading idea is that following the movements while holding a memory in mind uses up some of your working memory, which makes the memory feel less vivid and less upsetting. You remain aware and present throughout, guided closely by your therapist. Some people find this part calmer than they expected, although it is normal for difficult feelings to come up while you are processing.
When processing begins
Once you feel ready, you and your therapist choose a target memory or feeling to work with. You focus briefly on the image, thought or body sensation associated with it while following the bilateral movements. After each short set, you describe what you notice, and your therapist supports you in observing rather than analysing. Over time, the memory changes in quality and intensity, often feeling more distant or neutral.
After a session
EMDR sessions can feel emotionally or physically tiring. Your therapist will help you end each session feeling grounded, and you may agree on gentle self-care plans such as rest, journaling or relaxation. Some people notice changes between sessions, such as vivid dreams, new thoughts about the memory, or a sense that it feels less charged. This is common, and you can talk it through with your therapist.
Therapy as collaboration
You and your therapist work on EMDR together. Your therapist’s role is to guide and contain the process, ensuring it feels safe and adaptive. If at any point you need to pause or slow down, that is always respected. Over time, many people find the memories become less upsetting. The aim is not to erase memories but to free you from their emotional weight so you can live more fully.
Getting started with EMDR
Knowing what to expect can make starting EMDR feel less daunting. If you would like to find out whether EMDR could help you, fill in our short online form.
