Feeling sad after a loss, a setback, or during a difficult period is a completely normal human response. But depression is something different. It is a persistent shift in how you feel, think, and function that does not lift when circumstances change. If you have been feeling flat, empty, or disconnected for weeks or months, and the things that usually help are not making a difference, you may be experiencing clinical depression.
Recognising the Signs
Depression affects people in different ways, but there are patterns that clinicians look for. These tend to fall into four areas.
Emotional changes are often the most obvious. You might feel persistently low, tearful, numb, or irritable. Some people describe feeling nothing at all, which can be just as distressing as intense sadness.
Physical symptoms are common but often overlooked. Depression frequently causes disrupted sleep (either too much or too little), changes in appetite, low energy, aches and pains, and a general sense of heaviness in the body.
Cognitive shifts affect how you think about yourself and the world. Depression tends to narrow your perspective, making it hard to see positives, remember good times, or imagine things getting better. Concentration and decision-making often suffer too.
Behavioural changes are where the cycle really takes hold. When you feel low and tired, you naturally pull back. You cancel plans, stop exercising, spend more time in bed, and withdraw from people who care about you. These are understandable responses to feeling awful, but they are also the behaviours that keep depression locked in place.
The Withdrawal Trap
This is one of the most important things to understand about depression: the things it makes you want to do are usually the things that make it worse.
When you feel exhausted and hopeless, staying in bed seems logical. Cancelling social plans feels like a relief. Stopping the activities you used to enjoy makes sense when nothing feels enjoyable. But each time you withdraw, you remove another source of reward, connection, or accomplishment from your day. Your world gets smaller, and the depression fills more of it.
This is not a character flaw or laziness. It is the nature of the condition. Depression changes your motivation system so that activities that would normally give you energy or pleasure feel pointless or overwhelming. Breaking this cycle usually requires some external support, which is exactly where therapy comes in.
How Therapy Helps
Depression is one of the most treatable mental health conditions. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) has decades of evidence supporting its effectiveness. CBT for depression works on two fronts: helping you re-engage with meaningful activities (a technique called behavioural activation) and identifying the negative thinking patterns that keep your mood low.
Behavioural activation is often the starting point. Rather than waiting to feel motivated before doing things, you begin doing things in small, manageable steps, and allow the motivation to follow. This might mean a short walk, texting a friend, or simply getting dressed and sitting somewhere other than bed. These steps can feel effortful at first, but they gradually rebuild the sense of routine and reward that depression has eroded.
Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT) is particularly helpful when depression is accompanied by harsh self-criticism. Many people with depression carry a relentless internal voice telling them they are failing, weak, or a burden. CFT helps you develop a kinder, more balanced relationship with yourself, which in turn reduces the shame and isolation that feed the depression.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) takes a different angle, helping you reconnect with what matters to you and take steps in that direction, even when difficult feelings are present.
You Do Not Have to Wait Until You Hit Rock Bottom
At The Tunbridge Wells Psychologist, we work with adults at all stages of depression, from people who have noticed their mood slipping over recent months to those who have been struggling for years. You do not need a formal diagnosis to benefit from therapy, and you do not need to be in crisis. Early support often leads to quicker recovery.
Most people begin to notice a shift within 6 to 12 sessions, though this varies depending on how long the depression has been present and what is maintaining it.
If any of this feels familiar, get in touch to book a free 15-minute consultation. We can talk through what you are experiencing and whether therapy might help.
