Preparing for EMDR: What to Expect in Your First Sessions
Starting EMDR therapy can feel both hopeful and uncertain. You may have read that it helps with trauma and anxiety, but wonder what actually happens in a session and whether it will feel overwhelming. EMDR is designed to be safe, paced and collaborative. The early sessions focus on building trust, stability and understanding, long before you begin processing difficult memories.
What happens first
In your initial sessions, your therapist will take time to understand your history, current symptoms and goals for therapy. This assessment helps identify which experiences may still feel distressing and what supports you already have in place. Together, you will develop a plan that ensures you feel in control throughout the process. EMDR moves at your pace, and nothing happens without your consent. Learning grounding and safety techniques
Before processing begins, your therapist will help you learn grounding techniques to manage emotion safely. You might create an internal “safe place” image, practise slow breathing or gentle tapping to regulate your body. These tools become anchors you can use both in and outside therapy. Feeling prepared and grounded helps your brain approach distressing material without becoming overwhelmed. Understanding bilateral stimulation
Bilateral stimulation is central to EMDR. This usually takes the form of side-to-side eye movements, gentle hand taps or alternating tones through headphones. The movement helps the brain process information in both hemispheres, supporting natural healing mechanisms. You remain aware and present throughout, guided closely by your therapist. Many clients describe this part of EMDR as surprisingly calming rather than distressing. When processing begins
Once you feel ready, you and your therapist choose a target memory or feeling to work with. You focus briefly on the image, thought or body sensation associated with it while following the bilateral movements. After each short set, you describe what you notice, and your therapist supports you in observing rather than analysing. Over time, the memory changes in quality and intensity, often feeling more distant or neutral. After a session
EMDR sessions can feel emotionally or physically tiring. Your therapist will help you end each session feeling grounded, and you may agree on gentle self-care plans such as rest, journaling or relaxation. Most people notice shifts between sessions: dreams, new insights, or a sense that the memory feels less charged. These are signs the brain is continuing to process naturally. Therapy as collaboration
EMDR is not something that happens to you but with you. Your therapist’s role is to guide and contain the process, ensuring it feels safe and adaptive. If at any point you need to pause or slow down, that is always respected. Over time, as distress reduces, you will likely feel lighter, calmer and more connected with yourself. The aim is not to erase memories but to free you from their emotional weight so you can live more fully. Beginning the journey
Starting EMDR can be the first step towards long-term emotional recovery. Knowing what to expect helps you feel prepared and confident. With compassion, collaboration and gentle structure, EMDR offers a clear path to processing what has felt stuck and to reclaiming peace of mind.
