What Does EMDR Therapy Actually Involve? A Step-by-Step Guide

EMDR in Practice – What to Expect

You may have read that EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) is a powerful therapy for trauma and distressing experiences—but what actually happens in an EMDR session? If you’re considering this approach, or your therapist has recommended it, it’s natural to feel curious (or even a little unsure) about how it works.

At The Tunbridge Wells Psychologist, our Clinical Psychologists use EMDR with clients who feel stuck in the past, overwhelmed by intrusive memories, or caught in loops of anxiety or self-doubt. This post walks you through what EMDR involves and how it can support emotional healing—gently, safely, and effectively.

Who Is EMDR For?

EMDR was originally developed for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), but it's now used to help with a range of issues, including:

• Single-event trauma (accidents, medical emergencies, assaults)

• Childhood trauma and attachment wounds

• Birth trauma or pregnancy loss

• Panic attacks and phobias

• Intrusive memories or flashbacks

• Performance anxiety or low self-worth linked to past experiences

• Ongoing symptoms after emotionally overwhelming events

If you’ve tried talking about something logically but still feel emotionally stuck, EMDR might be right for you.

Why Talking Isn’t Always Enough

When we experience something distressing, the brain doesn’t always process the memory properly. Instead of storing it like a normal memory, it gets “stuck”—along with the sights, sounds, emotions, and body sensations from that moment. This is why even years later, a smell or situation might trigger a strong emotional reaction.

EMDR helps the brain reprocess that memory, so it no longer feels dangerous or raw. Importantly, EMDR doesn’t erase memories—it changes how they’re stored, reducing the emotional charge and allowing the past to feel like the past.

What Happens in EMDR Therapy?

EMDR follows an eight-phase process. Your Clinical Psychologist will tailor the pace and content to your needs, but here’s a general overview:

1. History and Assessment

We begin by understanding your experiences, symptoms, and goals. You won’t be asked to jump into traumatic memories right away—first, we get to know your story and what’s brought you to therapy.

2. Stabilisation and Resource Building

Before processing memories, you’ll learn grounding and calming techniques. EMDR only works when you feel safe enough to tolerate difficult emotions. This might involve breathing exercises, visualisations, or identifying “safe spaces” in your mind.

3. Identifying Target Memories

Together, you and your psychologist identify the memories that still carry emotional weight. These might be specific moments (e.g. “when the car hit me”) or recurring themes (e.g. “being ignored as a child”). You’ll also identify the negative belief associated with each (e.g. “I’m not safe” or “I’m not good enough”).

4. Desensitisation with Bilateral Stimulation

This is the core of EMDR. You’ll be asked to bring the memory to mind while following a form of bilateral stimulation—such as eye movements, tapping, or auditory tones that alternate left and right.

This process mimics the brain’s natural processing during REM sleep. It helps unlock the memory and refile it in a way that reduces emotional intensity. You’ll stop periodically to report what’s coming up—and the memory often shifts in surprising ways.

5. Reprocessing and Cognitive Shifts

As the emotional charge reduces, you’ll begin to see the memory differently. You might start to feel more distance from it, or develop a new belief (e.g. “I did the best I could” or “That wasn’t my fault”). This cognitive shift often happens organically as the distress fades.

6. Body Scan and Closure

You’ll check in with your body to see if any tension or emotion remains. If needed, more processing can be done. Each session ends with grounding techniques so you leave feeling safe and regulated.

7–8. Re-evaluation and Future Planning

In later phases, your psychologist helps you assess progress and address any remaining triggers. EMDR can also be used to strengthen positive images or build resilience for future challenges.

What EMDR Feels Like

You remain conscious and in control the whole time—it’s not hypnosis. Some sessions are emotionally intense; others feel quiet and reflective. Most people report that memories feel less sharp or painful afterward. Some feel calmer, more confident, or simply “lighter.”

Therapists guide the pace carefully. EMDR is a collaborative process—you’ll never be forced to process something you’re not ready for.

Support in Tunbridge Wells and Kent

If you’re carrying distressing memories that feel stuck, EMDR therapy may help you move forward. At The Tunbridge Wells Psychologist, our experienced Clinical Psychologists offer EMDR as part of a tailored, trauma-informed approach.

Whether you’ve experienced trauma, panic, low self-worth, or simply can’t let go of something in the past, we’re here to help you feel safe, supported, and able to heal—at your own pace.