Parenting a Child with ADHD – Practical Tips That Actually Help
Understanding the ADHD Brain
Parenting a child with ADHD can be joyful, exhausting, rewarding, and overwhelming—sometimes all within the same hour. Children with ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) often experience difficulties with focus, impulsivity, emotional regulation, and executive function. But they also tend to be creative, curious, energetic, and full of potential.
At The Tunbridge Wells Psychologist, we support many parents who love their child deeply but feel unsure how best to support their needs. This blog offers practical, compassionate guidance for managing daily life when your child has ADHD.
What ADHD Might Look Like at Home
No two children with ADHD are the same, but common patterns include:
Struggling to sit still or focus on tasks
Talking excessively or interrupting frequently
Difficulty following multi-step instructions
Emotional outbursts that seem disproportionate
Forgetting or losing things regularly
Seeming disorganised, ‘disobedient’, or distracted / daydreaming
High energy and constant movement, especially at the wrong times
Difficulty calming down, even when tired or overstimulated
Many of these behaviours aren’t due to laziness or defiance—they’re linked to how the ADHD brain processes stimulation, emotion, and reward.
Why Standard Parenting Advice Doesn’t Always Work
Traditional discipline strategies (e.g. time-outs, punishment for “not listening”) often fall flat with children who have ADHD. That’s because ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition, not a behavioural problem.
What looks like not listening is often difficulty with attention. What seems like impulsivity is often trouble with inhibition. What’s seen as defiance may be emotional dysregulation.
When adults around the child shift from punishment to understanding, everything changes.
Practical Tips That Make a Difference
Here are research-informed strategies that can support both your child and your relationship:
1. Use structure and routine
Children with ADHD thrive on predictability. Visual schedules, timers, and reminders reduce the mental load of remembering what’s next.
Try: A visual checklist for morning or bedtime routines.
2. Break tasks into steps
Avoid multi-step instructions like “Get your shoes, coat, and bag and meet me at the door.” Break it down—and check for understanding.
“First your shoes. Let’s do it together.” (Then move to the next step.)
3. Give instructions with connection
Get their attention first—say their name, make eye contact, and touch their arm gently before giving instructions.
Connection before direction helps them absorb what you’re saying.
4. Use positive reinforcement
Notice and praise the behaviours you want to see more of, even if they seem small.
“You remembered to hang up your bag—well done for getting started on your own.”
5. Support emotional regulation
Children with ADHD often feel emotions intensely and may struggle to calm down. Practice calming strategies regularly—not just during a meltdown.
Try: breathing exercises, movement breaks, sensory activities, or emotion cards.
6. Offer movement—not punishment
ADHD brains need stimulation. Build in ways for them to move safely—e.g. fidget toys, a mini trampoline, or regular breaks.
Moving before they’re restless is key.
7. Work with—not against—their strengths
Children with ADHD are often imaginative, curious, and intuitive. Use their interests to engage them and boost self-esteem.
If they love animals, turn spelling into a game about pets.
Looking After Yourself Too
Parenting a child with ADHD can be draining—especially when others don’t see the behind-the-scenes work you do every day. You may feel isolated, judged, or worried about your child’s future. Therapy or parent coaching can help you:
Understand your child’s needs
Reduce guilt or self-blame
Stay calm when emotions run high
Reconnect with the joy in your relationship
Build confidence in your parenting
Support for Families in Tunbridge Wells and Kent
At The Tunbridge Wells Psychologist, our Clinical Psychologists offer support for parents and children living with ADHD. While we don’t offer formal ADHD assessments, we provide therapy that helps children develop emotional regulation, self-confidence, and strategies for focus.
We also offer space for parents to reflect, plan, and feel heard. You’re not alone—and with the right tools, things really can get easier.
